Under the gun

spark of us from duskofdoubt on 8tracks Radio.

I have to state upfront that this mix consists of 15 of the world's most sinfully sexy songs which will bowl you over and leave you gasping for air. But then again, you don't have to take my word for it, because the world - in my books, is terribly square.

Also, my life as of late has been dreadfully boring since school is practically towering in my face now, and I can only cower in denial because I am very much behind on work. In fact, the most exciting thing that has happened in my life the past week was discovering that my ASOS parcel was way past its delivery due date and sending a distress email to their customer service, which by the way, was completely horrifying because I needed that dress with a scary passion.

OH, and my article is up, and even though it's really not quite what I'd expected of it, there's something about seeing your own work up that fans the narcissistic flames in me heh. Yea, no shame, this one.

The knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark

  But I crumble completely when you cry,

It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye. 

I'm always just about to go and spoil a surprise,

Take my hands off of your eyes too soon

505, Arctic Monkeys

Bring me to an Arctic Monkeys concert, and I will swear eternal allegiance to you.

Current book binge heh. Halfway through Blueprints for Building Better Girls right now, and I think I'm fast developing an obsession with short stories. 

The nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

I have completely wasted away my holidays (again, because really, hardworking is not a word that anyone quite uses to describe Teo Rui Ling).

But for all my procrastination, I feel like I finally know what I want. I can see the outlines (vague as they are) of my future. Good lord, is this an age-17 epiphany? 

This week was pretty eventful though - yes, in between beating myself up over my absolute lack of completed work and lazing around on the couch, I actually managed to get out of the house and do something. If you're reeling in shock right now, please close your mouth because I really don't want to know your opinions about how pitiful you'd thought my social life would be (and as I type this sentence out, I am suddenly reminded of the time someone said my writing was snarky  because this is a moment of dawning realisation and I would like to console myself with the fact that it's a coming of age thing but really I'm just a self-fulfilling prophecy; and also this is a really long sidenote, I should stop).

Ok weekly rundown! 

Thursday was a day for satay hurray! 

Frankly, I'm getting a little pissed off as I look at this picture. THE SATAY WAS BEYOND CHARRED?? Or at least 2 sticks were inedible. And we should have gotten them replaced at once but no, Thursday was a day of shyness, unassertiveness (if such a word exists HA) and unspoken satay regrets. But to be fair the other 8 sticks were tiny shreds of heaven so- 

After that was watching the xmas lights (I'm sorry if that wasn't a very smooth transition between abrupt changes in topics #sorrybutnotsorry), and we pretty much bumbled along Orchard aimlessly actually. And I have absolutely no idea why, but I'm crazy stuck in the xmas mood this year, and all I keep getting from Starbucks and CBTL is peppermint, peppermint, and more peppermint flavoured drinks. THE ODDEST THING IS THAT I USED TO HATE PEPPERMINT.

But Thursday was happy happy happy.

Saturday was brunch at Chock Full of Beans hurray and my mother has managed to sway me into getting hot drinks all the damn time. But thank god for hot drinks really, because they have pretty amazing coffee art at that cafe. 

I mean, LOOK at my Honey Matcha:

And my sis and I launched into this mini debate (which was really an argument) about whether that was Rudolph or a reindeer. Clearly my sis has yet to learn about Venn diagrams because the last time I checked, Rudolph was a red-nosed reindeer. And red-nosed or not, IT'S STILL A DAMN REINDEER.

Also, I watched Notre Dame de Paris!!! 

(Why am I always 62836 shades darker than my sister in photos??)

Sometimes, I'm not really sure if I'm glad that my sister has eccentric tastes like mine or if I'm slightly despondent from the fact that I've managed to influence a guileless kid into the ways of the weird. But Notre Dame de Paris was very very very wonderful. In fact, I think it's better than Phantom of the Opera (which was way too draggy and I sort of fell asleep halfway). Notre Dame was very dark and twisted (DISNEY MOVIE IT IS CLEARLY NOT), and maybe that is precisely why I fell in love with it. And I gave my first ever standing ovation for it!!! Actually, second, but I'm thinking that the first one doesn't count (which was for Wicked btw) because I pretty much stood for one second before I plopped down from the stress of peer pressure. But Notre Dame was different!! Because I was adamant that I had to give a standing ovation at least once in my entire lifetime so I stood and clapped like a madwoman, with utter disregard for the people that sat behind me (but boo for them, because Notre Dame DESERVES that standing ovation, and they should have stood too!!). The theatre was pretty empty though, but I blame the lack of publicity and this poster: 

Yea, real enticing.

Sunday (or today) was the day I woke up at 11am like a freaking queen at MBS, and had steak for brunch. 

Also went to the Bookfest and got myself 4 books all under 10 bucks. Trudged around with my lumpy backpack and I think I should get full marks for dorkdom.

Take me by the hand

roses&bullets from duskofdoubt on 8tracks Radio.

My proudest mix heh.


But that's not the point.
The point is, I finally got my mini Bras Basah adventure today. And I think I walked my unhealthy body into fits of nausea, but I've never been more satiated.

Fine winding whispers

On nights like this, I have an odd tendency to reminisce.

And I begin to wonder about the possibilities. About how we may have seen an entirely different outcome if I simply wasn't the person I used to be. About how I might have had a shot if only if I'd made more sense, been more mature, irritated less.

I'm not supposed to think like this. Things aren't what they used to be anymore. But each time I see your name, I remember the fallacies of my youth, the brashness of my tongue, the longing in my words.

And I only hope you remember me fondly.

Crossfire

  no Bonnie & Clyde - quite the contraire.
but often i do wonder
if a love between goodness
is supposed to hurt as much.

   like bullets scraping past broken skin
you haunt me from within.
as good you may be to love,
darling, you've never been good for me.

On days like this, I want nothing more but to hear from you.

But that is the one thing that you can't grant me.

-

On a happier note, inspiration struck when I was busy moping around, and I transformed the pizza tshirt which I couldn't seem to work into a muscle tank.

Wearable stuff makes me happy heh.